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Friday, April 20, 2007


What IS it about that store???
I go in for ONE thing. Zone bars. I don't take a cart because that would give me WAY too much leeway in the shopping department. Instead, I pick up one of those little carry baskets.
Determined, I don't look at the candles as I pass. The office supply aisle calls to me. Nothing I like better than spanking new pens. And ooh. Tablets. They have new tablets. The paper is lined and the back of the tablet's good and hard, so you can write anywhere. Okay, I'll just throw two of them into the basket. Two's not bad. And red pens. I've got a copyedit at home and I need new pens. The gel ones. And I'm almost out of envelopes after tax season, so okay, a few of those, too. By the time I leave office supplies, the basket's a little heavy, so I rest for a minute near the candle aisle and notice a sale. Come on. A SALE.
Cinnamon candles, Fresh spring. And the new Glade candles smell really good, so I toss a few of them in there, too. Okay, back on my route. Zone bars. That's what I'm there for. Zone bars.
The endcap on the book aisle grabs me. And hey, this is research. Keeping up with market trends. I pick up a paranormal, a new Desire by Tessa Radley and a haircut magazine, cuz my hair's bugging me again.
Zone bars.........
Back to the center aisle and headed in the right direction, but there's an end cap of batteries, and my Alphie needs a tune up. Okay. batteries fly into the ever heavier basket. Now I'm using two hands to hold the damn thing and still refusing to get a cart. I can do this. Zone bars and I'm gone.
God, I need new towels. Really pretty blue ones and another sale. Is this lucky or what? Leave there, slinging towels over my shoulders because there's no room in the basket. Stumble through the food section and grab a bag of Double Stuf Oreos and another bag of Hersheys miniatures for the emergency chocolate stash.
That's it. I'm done. Get what I came here for and get out.....Birthday cards. God. Forgot about the birthdays I've got coming up. Mull through there for a half hour, pick up four birthdays and some extra all purpose ones for those emergency moments and at last head for the checkout.
Hand over the credit card, watch the receipt stream from the register like a ticker tape parade, then stagger out to the car juggling FIVE bags. Stow it all in the trunk, get in the car, head home and realize.....


  • At 2:06 PM, Blogger Gillian Doyle said…

    LOL! Gawd, I'm happy to hear I'm not the only one who buys a ton of crap only to realize I never got what I went in for!! Makes me feel a little less crazy. ggg

  • At 2:11 PM, Blogger Maureen Child said…

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  • At 2:12 PM, Blogger Maureen Child said…

    LOL, Gillian!! Are we LESS crazy because there're more of us? hmm. A question for the ages...I'll put it on my list!

    ( I deleted that last post because hey, the writer had too many typos!)

  • At 7:36 PM, Blogger Jennifer said…

    Me too! I do it too! And I'm a horrible shopper, I rarely shop but Target is like a drug.

    But you know, Maureen, I'm a little worried about you spanking pens. Isn't that a little weird?

    And lastly, if I deleted my blogs or answers with typos, the world would never hear from me!

  • At 10:22 AM, Blogger Maureen Child said…

    JEN.....LOLOL....fine, fine... a dangling whatever made for a weird ass sentence!! LOL..

    And yeah, typos are ugly and I usually leave 'em. What can I say? I had a neat moment!

    It's so comforting to know I'm not alone on the Target thing.....

  • At 3:44 PM, Blogger Erica Orloff said…

    Me. Four children. Target . . . cannot get out for under $400.

    It's like a sucking vortex down which my money goes.

    In my defense, I hate shopping, so I go three times a year . . . and thus have a bazillion things the children legitimately need--new socks, underwear, shirts, belts . . . etc. And THEN of course, there are the things I pass in the aisles that I don't need but become distracted by--candles and vases, and new towels. And sheets. And . . . and . . .

    I think they send subliminal messages over the Muzak.

  • At 3:52 PM, Blogger Maureen Child said…

    THANK YOU, ERICA!! THAT'S the reason I end up getting so much I didn't go in for....subliminals! Now that makes sense!'s pitiful, ain't it?? Kudos for only going three times a year, though!

  • At 5:42 AM, Blogger Erica Orloff said…

    Those four kids would suck me dry if I went any more often. Sometimes I think I must look like a crazy woman with all that crap in my cart from not going in so long. My poor son's boxers will be choking his midsection, and I'll suddenly realize it's been MONTHS and say, "Guess we better hit Target, kiddo."

  • At 12:39 PM, Blogger Maureen Child said…

    LOL, suck you dry even when you're NOT at Target!! Though God, can't imagine my world without 'em......

  • At 4:22 PM, Blogger Tessa Radley said…

    I'm laughing out loud at this post. I'm another red (and green!) pen a fistful and a couple of weeks later I cannot find any.

    Now I'm intrigued, Hersheys and Oreos I know, but what are Zone bars??? They sound out of this world. Chocolate? Caramel? Marshmallow?

    Maureen, thanks for coming to my Celebration Party and thanks even more for picking up my first book :-). I'm looking forward to reading More Than Fiends, and my copy of Thirty Day Affair should be here any day.

    Erica, I loved Urban Legend. Very cool book.

  • At 7:43 AM, Blogger Kate Carlisle said…

    LOL Maureen! Good to know I'm not the only one who gets lost in Target. What's really sad is that I actually go there to shop for...gulp...clothes. Yeah, I'm cheap, but really, they've got the best t-shirts and jammies and sweats.

    And Zone bars are supposed to be a healthy alternative to cookies --unless you tend to eat them six at a time like some of us do. ;-)

  • At 9:32 AM, Blogger Maureen Child said…

    Hey Kate!

    Zone bars are STILL healthier, right?? RIGHT??

    And Target has some really cute shoes, too!

  • At 9:07 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Kate - Glad to hear that I am not the only one who buys clothes from Target. I remember reading about a shirt in the former Deadline Diaries blog and going to Target and snatching up two of them.

    Of course, the kids are the biggest Target suckers. Clothes, books, diapers (of god, let Luke get potty-trained this year. :))

    Fun topic.


  • At 4:18 PM, Blogger Maureen Child said…

    Cady......Oh God!! Kid clothes at Target are the best!! and hey, I'm always thumbing through their shirts..though the tee shirts this spring seem a little too clingy--or maybe it's just that I have too much for it to cling TO!!


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